“WHY MEN DON’T SPEAK OUT AGAINST GENDER BASED VIOLENCE”
Gender based violence refers to any form of violence, abuse or harassment that is directed at an individual or group based on their gender, sex or gender identity. The form of violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, and economic.
Men consider themselves strong and better in handling issues but in reality most men a violated by women either emotionally, physically and sexually. There are some push factors in why men do not speak out against gender based violence that include;
Societal expectations: Men are expected to do a lot of things by the society and it impacts the behavior and attitudes towards GBV. Societal expectations on traditional masculinity encourage men to be strong and dominant thus making it difficult for men to be vulnerable and express their emotions. Societal expectations also dictate that men should be stoic and avoid discussing sensitive topics leading them to be silent against GBV. This also contributes to men not wanting to withdraw some issues because the society expects for them not to give up. By speaking out against gender based violence men will always feel like they are disrespecting or low bringing societal expectations which the society look forward to.
Peer pressure: man fear losing social standing among their peers if they challenge prevailing attitudes or behaviors related to masculinity. Most people see gender based violence in women only and they tend to judge through that fact thus making men not to talk about it as everyone believes that it is only done to women and girls. The pressure that comes from peers becomes more often about how they control or rule around their families not letting any room for those who have been violated to tell their story because they will be scared to say what they have gone through on the issues of being violated by their girlfriends wife’s and family members. Men are scared of being laughed at, questioned of their abilities and expected actions as they see GBV not being a normal thing in their peer groups.
Feelings of powerlessness: Some men may feel that their voices will not make a difference in combating GBV leading to inaction. In most communities they do not see GBV in men but mostly in women thus it is not crucial for men to be abused as they are seen as the strongest and head of a family. If a men speak out against GBV they feel like they are not listened to and not much action is done as they speak out because most cases are women who fight against GBV.
Fear of being judged: Men fear to be judged by peers on issues like GBV as they see it as a women’s problem. They think that GBV is only faced by women, they do not accept the fact that men also face GBV especially sexually and sometimes physically too for example man can be raped, seduced and that is sexual abuse which can be reported too as one will be violated. By fear of being ridiculed men are pushed to not speak out against gender based violence.
Lack of education and awareness: Men lack education and awareness of what to do when they are being abused thus leading them not to speak out against GBV. They need to be taught about the consequences, types of GBV and how to act when one is being abused. Some men are actually in toxic relationships but the fact that they are not aware of the signs of abuse they feel like its normal being in a relationship that is full of hurt, damage and which is unhealthy. A lot of people ignore these red flags and see it as a healthy relationship while it is unhealthy. Men need to be educated thoroughly on GBV to increase the number of them speaking out against it.
The above reasons explains why men do not speak out against GBV stems from a complex interplay of peer pressure, feelings of powerlessness, fear to be judged and other listings. From the factors above, to foster a more proactive stance among men it is vital to promote awareness and understanding of GBV. Men should challenge harmful societal norms and create supportive environments where everyone should be listened to, not fear to say what he has been or going through and open dialogues are encouraged. This collective effort not only benefits those directly affected by violence but also contributes the increasing number of men in not being ashamed of speaking out against GBV. By addressing these push factors we can empower man to become allies in the fight against GBV ultimately leading to a safer and more equitable society for all.
TOGETHER WE CAN PAVE THE WAY FOR SIGNIFICANT CHANGE AND FOSTER A CULTURE OF RESPECT, SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY